Spring is stirring

I know.  I am getting ahead of the game here.  Spring just seems to be taking its time this year.  As it always does.

But.  Yes, the peepers are peeping.  It was amazing to hear them sounding off even when the temperature was below freezing.  I told Andy that I thought they are probably keeping themselves encouraged while the water is slowly turning to ice around them. They must know what they are doing.  Or not.  Who knows.

We saw four big turkey gobblers crossing our eastern field today.  They seemed huge.  Just strolling across the open spaces, not a care in the world.  Looking for hens I guess.  They need to look nonchalant and not too eager.  Attractive to the ladies, but not too bold.  Tis the season.

I keep looking for my spring flowers to jump up and yell at me.."Hey Sleepy Head..It's Spring."  Haven't heard them yet.  But the trees are budding out.  And the air seems lighter and softer.  Even the sharp late winter wind has lost some of its edge. 

Waiting. Waiting.  I can hear and see spring stirring here on the hill.  I just need to be patient.  And wait. 

February Evensong

After so many days of clouds and rain it was a joy to drive home in sunshine this evening.  My favorite sunset journey is down Highway 5, south from Ava, headed straight for home.  Especially pretty when the sun is slowly sinking behind the hills to the west.  The light is just so soft and glowing.  Each treeline is outlined in gold and crimson.  Not a bright light that you see in the fall, nor the sharp light of winter.  But rather a peaceful blend of rose and orange and blue mixed with yellow tints.  Not being a painter, I would be hard pressed to mix the colors of a late winter sunset.

Today as I passed those familiar landmarks...the store at Squires and the turnoff to Thornfield, the Y store and Wasola, Almartha, and then Romance to the left and Nottinghill to the right...I noted each farm and house.  I know many people who live on this road..or just off it a little way.  And as I drove I thought of them.  Some are still living in their homes, some have passed away, but their memory lives on with family and friends.

 I felt a certain peace descend on me as the colors grew more muted, I said a prayer for each and every one who came to mind as I saw their home place bathed in light.

  It reminded me of evensong..that beautiful church tradition that I experienced when I was a young girl.  Songs and meditations and prayers as the sun is setting.  My mind went back to that time.  Sunlight glancing in the stained glass windows, casting wonderful beams of colored light on the pews and altar.  And I remembered the joy and peace I felt as I prayed and sang and listened as a child.

Evensong in February.  For all to see and enjoy.  The perfect end to a perfect day. 

Anxious for spring

I took this picture of a sundial at a nearby college a few years ago.  I was going through my pictures and saw it today.  And that old familiar mid-winter feeling came upon me.  Spring.  When will we see spring?  To say I am looking forward to constant warmer temperatures, budding trees, and green grass is a given.

I know that many of us are impatient to get this winter behind us.  But, stubborn as it is, it just won't let us go.  A few folks have been laid up with the cold, flu and other ailments.  Some are getting over them...and for some they just seem to hang on.

For me, I am looking forward to hanging out my clothes once more.  I miss the fresh smell of sun-kissed sheets and towels.  I want to open up the windows and feel that soft spring breeze coming in.

Today I am going to clean house.  I have really neglected it lately.  What's the use?  I tidy it up and get it looking good and in the next hour or two here comes more muddy boots and dust from the wood stove.  Cloudy days make the windows look especially dreary.

I try to not think about the weeks ahead.  The half winter-half spring mood of the Ozarks.  But it is easy to fall into the habit of not expecting things to improve.  Think I'll get out the seed catalog, look at some bright and sunny pictures of flowers and trees.  Anything to fill the hours..and days..until those spring dreams come true.

End of the day.

Yesterday we had plans.  But waking up to several inches of rain, a persistent flooded creek that kept us up on the hill, and the knowledge that this too would pass, changed them.

Today dawned bright and brilliant.  A perfect time to get things done.  We made our delayed trip off the hill, spent the better part of the time running errands, trying not to think about how much of this glorious day we were spending in town, driving from here to there.

As soon as we climbed the hill this afternoon, we were in Superman mode.  Unpack the car, throw the groceries in the fridge, shed our town clothes and put on our walking stuff, lace up our boots and away we went down the hill.

Perfect temperature in the high 50's.  A little breeze.  And coming up from the valley to our east the faintest hint of smoke.  We think that probably someone was taking advantage of the good weather to burn a dozer deck or other pile of unwanted debris.

Down the road to the east.  And then turning to the south.  A flock of birds was circling over head.  Trying to identify them, we paused and listened to hear a call or a random peep.  Nothing.  They circled to the east, headed to the north, came back overhead.  And then I saw it.  The faintest hint of golden breast.  Meadowlarks!  I heard one calling a day or two ago...just one faint call and nothing more.  But here they were.  A whole flock of them dipping and diving and finally coming in for a landing just to the west of us, at home in the grass made golden by the setting sun.

Walking down along our pine grove we could smell that wonderful scent of green needles.  Soft wind was blowing the tops but no birds or creatures moved near us.  Down to the "new pond"...up to the banks after the  generous rain yesterday.  And then on to the "old pond" to check where we had left a stick to mark its high point.  Down an inch or two.  This pond used to be so lovely.  Clear water. Lots of life.  But then a few years ago its bottom turned over and it has suffered ever since.  We think it must have a hole somewhere because it loses water rapidly.  But it was so good to see it looking like its old self.

And then on up to the house.  The sun setting.  The glow of red and yellow outlining the distant hills, the house, the tree.  Just a perfect evening.  And many more to come.  At the end of the day.

And so we begin....

Here we are.  Perched on the edge of a new year.  365 days ahead of us....a perfect blank slate.  Resolutions to get control of things that are out-of-control.  As if that is an easy thing.  How long has this been going on?  A few years, or months, or perhaps, decades?  You know the drill.  "I am absolutely going to do better this year"  Just name it.  You Can Do It.

Or so the feeling goes.  There is determination.  There is dedication.  There is resolve.

I'll not bore you with my long, long list of New Year's Resolutions.  Besides, they will go by the wayside as soon as this first month is over...or even before.  I know.  Been here many times before.  And that is how it goes.

But this year is going to be different.  I have learned some things about myself in the last twelve months.  Just as I learned things about myself each year I have lived.  I am a steadfast believer in examining what works...and what doesn't.  And the futility of banging the same rock with the same hammer, hoping for results.  

Taking out my mental broom I am sweeping out the dusty corners.  The places I have allowed to become crowded with negative dirt and dust, the detritus of broken dreams and ruined plans.  I will not lug this junk with me into this new year...not for a single day.  I can't change the past.  I joyfully empty my dustpan out in the clean air of the new year and see all that dirt blown away, never to return.

Here is a blank page in the book.  What will I write in it today?  Will it be something that is good and bright and helpful?  Or will it be a complaint about the hard road I have to travel.  Did I not notice that others have the same troubles as I?  Did I not see them stumble over the same sharp stones and grab onto something to give them hope..out there in the darkness.

The sun shines.  Even if I can't see it for the clouds. I will not take tomorrow for granted.  My job is to live right now.  To do my best to make my life count for something....making the sun shine for someone somewhere.  Even if they don't see it.

Perhaps at this time 365 days ahead I can look back and see that I have made a difference.  At least I can begin...today, right now.  

Happy New Year to all of you, from me.  Wishing you sunny days even when rain clouds gather.  And balmy winds even during the storm.  

   

My Christmas Wish for You

This was written by Fra Giovanni Giocondo, a Franciscan friar, who wrote it to a friend on Christmas Eve, 1513.  And it is my Christmas wish for all of you, near and far.

There is nothing I can give you

which you have not;

But there is much, very much , that

while I cannot give it, you can take.

No heaven can come to us unless our hearts

find rest in today. Take heaven!

No peace lies in the future which is not hidden

in this present instant.  Take peace!

The gloom of the world is but a shadow.

Behind it, yet within reach, is joy.

There is radiance and glory in the darkness, could we but see,

and to see, we have only to look.  I beseech you to look.

Life is so generous a giver, but we, judging its gifts by

their covering, cast them away as ugly, or heavy, or hard.

Remove the covering, and you will find beneath it

a living splendor, woven of love, by wisdom, with power.

Welcome it, grasp it, and you touch the angel's hand

that brings it to you.  Everything we call a trial, a sorrow, or

a duty, believe me, that angel's hand is there; the gift is there,

and the wonder of an overshadowing presence.

Our joys too:  be not content with them as joys.

They, too, conceal diviner gifts.

And so, at this time, I greet you.

Not quite as the world sends greetings, but with

profound esteem and with the prayer that for you now and

forever, the day breaks, and the shadows flee away.

Be Kind

As we come to this time of year I like to reflect on what I might be able to change in myself during the new year.  I love Christmas.  I enjoy Thanksgiving.  But I do look forward to what is ahead.  Call me an optimist.  I guess I'll take it!

What am I going to work on?  Well.  I do need to up the exercise and slow down on the food intake.  Who wouldn't benefit from that?  And I might want to work on some of the things I have left sitting around...both in the house and out.  Lots of projects to do.  But there always needs to be an incentive to get off ground zero and launch into it!  Ah...ambition!  Mine seems to have got up and gone.

In the last few days a thought has come to me.  I need to work on my attitude.  Of late, it has gone south.  Small things irritate me.  I feel grumpy and grouchy for no reason.  And there are times I do not realize it.

I need to work on being kind.  Not only in the words I say, but in the things I let myself think...and do.  Kindness is not easy.  Sometimes I feel as if I am "entitled" to be ugly to others...either in word or deed.  That is wrong.  So wrong.

What is so difficult about being kind?

1. It takes effort.  Yes it does.  It is a simple thing to feel that we have been wronged.  Sometimes we have...but many times it is just our conception of a situation.  I am going to try to count to 10, or take a minute or two to look at myself and what I am doing.  Is it them, or it?  Or is it me?

2.  Have patience.  I am short on patience.  I would like to think that it is just part of my DNA..a convenient excuse...and that is all that it is.  Taking it slow and easy is hard.  But it will help me when I am pushed to rush to judgement and choose a harsh word or worse, a bad attitude.

3.  And last of all, look the situation over.  See the other person's point of view.  Perhaps they are having a bad day.  I once was guilty of making a server in a restaurant weep because I acted impatiently.  And my words hurt her.  I apologized to her later.  She was surprised, but I really needed to let her know that it wasn't her fault. 

So here it is.  In black and white.  Hold me to it, friends and neighbors!  Please.  

Be Kind.  My motto for 2019...and hopefully, beyond.