Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Together

 
The last few weeks have been hard on our little community.  Sadness creeps in and grief seems to overcome us to the point where we can't seem to think, or move, or even pray.  We are overwhelmed.
But somehow, someway, we emerge from this dark cloud of tears.  The mornings bloom bright and clear.  The sun rises.  We ask for help for the days and weeks and months ahead.  Sorrow lessens with  time.  But it never ever leaves us.  There is an emptiness that comes back to us with each memory.  Each smile.  Each hug. 
Why?  Why?  The never ending questions are always there.  Perhaps if...?  What could I have done differently...?  It is the nature of our world that we will always ponder these things.  We don't know why.  We don't know how come. 
But I know one thing.  We need to hold on to each other with a tight love that never lets go.  We need to smile more.  We need to forgive more.  We need to keep each other in constant prayer.  We need to put aside our differences and really listen to what others say, even if it is not out loud.  Haven't you ever had that inner prompt?  It says I should go and see that person.  I really need to make a phone call.  My heart tells me that my friend is hurting.  I need to help.
My prayer is that we will live through this rough time.  That we will learn from this experience just how precious we are to each other.
Hug.  Hold.  Love. 
There is nothing better you can do for those who are hurting.  And you will be a better person for it. 

Monday, January 19, 2015

A Break in Winter

Haven't the last few days been utterly glorious?  I felt like a giddy kid let out from school today.  Warm breeze, sunshine all around me, everything and everyone seemed ready for this welcome break from winter.
I was sitting in the shade of the northwest corner of the porch this afternoon.  Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander aimlessly, entertaining myself with bits and pieces of "I wonder ..."
I wonder if that little moth  flying around in front of me knows that it is going to get cold again?  I wonder if it will find a warm place to stay when the temperature drops tonight?  How crazy is that?  A moth.  Let's see....an insect who is so attracted to light that it will fly into a burning flame.  I really don't think that a moth does much in the way of reasoning.  It just wakes up, enjoys the day, and finds a place to perch at night.  In the summer it is usually inside my house making loop-de-loop turns around the ceiling fixture in the kitchen.
I wonder if those thousand upon thousand of spider web filaments that blow across my field are attached to tiny little spiders hoping  they will get enough lift to find somewhere else to climb and nest.  Those silken threads certainly aren't designed to catch anything to eat.  And what happens when the day is cold and very windy?  Where do those little spiders go then?
I wonder about those ducks that are using my pond for a rest stop but never seem to stay.  This morning we saw five take flight before we  able were to get a good look.  They are certainly wary of us.  Several years ago we made a very nice duck house for them to raise their young in, but so far not  one has taken advantage of it.  I wonder where  they stay when they aren't freeloading on my property? 
Our herd of deer is back.  During the coldest of the recent weather  they have stayed in the woods where the wind is not so harsh and there is plenty to eat.  I wonder, do they know that we look for them everyday and plot how we will thin their numbers come fall?  But, somehow they disappear when the calendar says Deer Season.  I wonder how they know that?
I wonder why I am so anxious for winter to be over?  Am I tired of gloomy, cloudy days when even the birds refuse to fly?  I stroll down to my garden. I really should go get the rake and hoe and some clippers and start cleaning it up.  I wonder why I am content to just stand on the edge where I have made a pile of rocks, to be hauled away at a later date, and say, "Tomorrow maybe."
It is just too nice a day to spend working.  I am enjoying a break in winter.  We may have a string of days like this for a while.  And I know that I need to cherish each moment and hide it away...until we get the final break in winter.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

No cookies......

One of the things about being confined to our little house for a period of time, due to bad weather and illness, is the problem with food.  I am careful to avoid the snack aisle when I go to the store.  I might buy Andy a candy bar.  Or some of those single serving ice cream treats that Blue Bunny makes. (Haven't seen them yet?  I can tell you exactly where they are in the frozen food section.)  This Christmas I made no cookies.  NO cookies, you've got that right.  Zero, zilch, nada.  No Springerle, no ginger creams, no cat's tongues with chocolate sprinkles.  My grandmothers would be horrified....no cookies, they would exclaim, throwing their hands up in the air and releasing a cloud of flour and spices from the ample aprons that covered them from Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve.  I come from a long line of bakers and makers of delicious food...unfortunately it skipped a generation and now resides with my daughter, thankfully.
However, I have found that I make up for the lack of cookies in other ways.  For several days I have made waffles for breakfast that we ate with slices of ham and mugs of coffee.  Slathered with butter and syrup we ate every delicious bite.  And biscuits.  I can make biscuits.  And they are great with ham and beans.  Lots of jelly to go with those biscuits.  I wondered what to make for dessert tonight after making a skillet full of spaghetti sauce.  Something good for you.  Something that wouldn't add too many calories to the already calorific week that has passed in a sugar haze.  Ah.....tapioca.  That's indeed what I made.  I stood and stirred it for almost twenty minutes so it wouldn't stick to the pan.  I let it cool just to that warm stage.  And then, gilding the lily, I took out the Cool Whip and added about half a cup to the top of the bowl.  Oh my, nirvana for sure.
Spring is coming.  I will have to change out of my roomy winter pants and try to slip into those skinny-person jeans once more.  Perhaps by that time I will have gotten a handle on this making-up-for-no Christmas cookies thing and return to fruit and salad and lean meats.  But not just yet.  Maybe I'll bake a cake tomorrow...hummm. 

Friday, January 2, 2015

Keeping in touch....

No, it isn't snowing out yet.  But it is the time of year when we expect it.  And it is the time of year when I reflect back on so many things.  One of my favorite activities is keeping in touch with friends.  At Christmas time I send out real Christmas cards.  The US Postal Service must have my name on their list of all-time favorites.  I should actually be inducted into the Post Office Hall of Fame as one of the most consistent buyer of stamps and mailer of packages and letters.  I have loved to write letters and send cards since I was old enough to hold a pen and make a legible mark.  My dad was a stamp collector and he surely did not like it when I raided his collection one day and plastered a few of his special first day of issue stamps on one of my pink envelopes.  I soon learned that lesson.
Tomorrow I will gather up all the cards that I have received this year, mark 2014 on their backs and file them away for next year.  I re-read most of them and make a note of what has happened to whom.  Most of my Christmas card list consists of friends that I have made over the years.  One woman was a fellow teacher with me at Hephzibah High School just outside of Fort Gordon in Georgia.  Her husband was in Korea with the MP's.  Mine was serving in Viet Nam.  We have written and shared photos at Christmas ever since.  She lives in Pennsylvania, is retired and seems just as sweet as she was the day I met her.  Another is my college roommate.  Still another an old college friend of Andy's and mine.  I enjoy seeing the pictures that they send each year of their kids, grandkids, vacations, new homes.  What a treat, even if it is only once a year.
And then there are the sad times when I get a card back marked undeliverable.  I know that either the person has passed away or moved without leaving a forwarding address.  Sometimes I hear from a family member.  One of my schoolmates passed away a few years ago and her sister sent me a lovely note, telling me about my friend.  This year an older friend passed away in the  spring.  Her daughter was kind enough to let me know when she received my card to her mom.  Another distant cousin sent me the funeral notice of another relative.  It is hard to mark their name out of my address book.
But the good news is that often times I get a card from someone I haven't heard from for a long time.  I know that with the social media and email we can be in almost immediate contact with anyone.  But it is fun to find a card or letter in the mail from a person you knew long ago.
Many of my friends send me e-cards.  I love them.  They are so colorful and fun to see.  Another relative sends their Christmas letter in an email.  I enjoy that too.
But I know that I will probably be the last person standing who visits the Hallmark store or gift shop and chooses a box of cards when Christmas rolls around.  I will be the last person who goes to the Post Office and buys holiday stamps.  And until I can't hold a pen to sign my name and address an envelope, you will be getting a Christmas card from me.  It's my way of keeping in touch.